Oh boy I needed to read this today! My youngest just turned 15 and of course I had to take him to the DDS to get his drivers permit. 😬 Not sure whhhyyyy they have to start so young here. It’s so frightening — even after having two go through it already! Thanks for sharing. Look forward to reading more of your work and I hope you enjoy mine too! 🫶🏼
Love this Jen. I can relate - my 19-year-old made her longest drive yet last week. This, even after she crushed city-living and her freshman year of college, was a test in being terrified but showing confidence!
Oh good! Thank you for sharing how it relates to you, Maria! I'm glad it resonates.
I know I'm not alone in their weird transition time of life and I just hope that readers can feel seen, supported, or find any kind of comfort in community.
I love this, Jen, and that powerful moment when you announced to her that she should start telling instead of asking. She’s going to remember that. You’ve got this!💛
Thanks, Kendra! I appreciate that. I knew it was the right thing to do. She's only recently started having places to go. She’s been so busy with other extracurricular activities. But she’s recently landed some friends who are more spontaneous. Thank goodness.
So great Jen. Everything you wrote about here. And especially your reflections about having an only. It really puts extra emphasis and even pressure on the relationship and these transitions. It makes these moments even more potent for you.
We never did tracking w/ Life 360. I have a gut that says trust first & then work thru stuff. Not bc it’s old school, but because it’s important to let life be lived. It makes both sides trust more and communicate better.
PS- Alan wanted to track the kids too (he’s always in favor of more data) so I guess I was the “John” in our relationship, and Alan is more like you. He was also the Tiger Mom, we still laugh about that. He drove me crazy with his anxiety around “what if’s” and always telling the kids to expect the worst and to get ahead of everything. So it caused more stress actually, but it was all he could do (for some families worry is love) but the hard part is that it could also crush the joy or ruin the moment too. Too much worrying/parenting (and over instructing) could actually steal their moment to feel, to wonder, to learn and to sort things out on their own. Which is the whole point of growth. The “not knowing” moments of life are maybe the most important because they build confidence and courage.
But the kids still call Alan Air Traffic Control. If they have a complex problem, they call him for advice to sort it out. But if they have an emotional challenge they call me. I usually just listen and point them back to themselves.
Oh boy I needed to read this today! My youngest just turned 15 and of course I had to take him to the DDS to get his drivers permit. 😬 Not sure whhhyyyy they have to start so young here. It’s so frightening — even after having two go through it already! Thanks for sharing. Look forward to reading more of your work and I hope you enjoy mine too! 🫶🏼
Thanks for being here, Susie! I'm glad we found each other. Oh I wish you peace and calm for the practice days ahead! 🤗🙌
Love this Jen. I can relate - my 19-year-old made her longest drive yet last week. This, even after she crushed city-living and her freshman year of college, was a test in being terrified but showing confidence!
Oh good! Thank you for sharing how it relates to you, Maria! I'm glad it resonates.
I know I'm not alone in their weird transition time of life and I just hope that readers can feel seen, supported, or find any kind of comfort in community.
I love this, Jen, and that powerful moment when you announced to her that she should start telling instead of asking. She’s going to remember that. You’ve got this!💛
Thanks, Kendra! I appreciate that. I knew it was the right thing to do. She's only recently started having places to go. She’s been so busy with other extracurricular activities. But she’s recently landed some friends who are more spontaneous. Thank goodness.
Fun to see the evolution! Have you noticed any subtle shifts in her since you made that statement?
I don't think so. It was just a couple days ago. She hasn't used it yet.
This is a lovely post! Hold close and let it go! Keep up the good work!
So great Jen. Everything you wrote about here. And especially your reflections about having an only. It really puts extra emphasis and even pressure on the relationship and these transitions. It makes these moments even more potent for you.
We never did tracking w/ Life 360. I have a gut that says trust first & then work thru stuff. Not bc it’s old school, but because it’s important to let life be lived. It makes both sides trust more and communicate better.
PS- Alan wanted to track the kids too (he’s always in favor of more data) so I guess I was the “John” in our relationship, and Alan is more like you. He was also the Tiger Mom, we still laugh about that. He drove me crazy with his anxiety around “what if’s” and always telling the kids to expect the worst and to get ahead of everything. So it caused more stress actually, but it was all he could do (for some families worry is love) but the hard part is that it could also crush the joy or ruin the moment too. Too much worrying/parenting (and over instructing) could actually steal their moment to feel, to wonder, to learn and to sort things out on their own. Which is the whole point of growth. The “not knowing” moments of life are maybe the most important because they build confidence and courage.
But the kids still call Alan Air Traffic Control. If they have a complex problem, they call him for advice to sort it out. But if they have an emotional challenge they call me. I usually just listen and point them back to themselves.
Trusting (our guts), not tracking data❤️
Great share Meg! And even better since I know Alan but didn't know this side of him!
“Most” of my worries are Internal. 😎
And look…your kids turned out terrific! And mine is too!